The end of 2019 is quickly coming to an end. Can you believe it?? I feel as if I was just making new resolutions for this year and now we have to plan for 2020.
So much has happened; my stepson relocated to Baltimore in January, my stepdaughter graduated high school and my husband went through 2 surgeries over the summer.
During all of this, we celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary in St. Lucia. Sounds exhausting (but fun) doesn’t it?
If you are feeling overwhelmed thinking about how you will wrap up everything you need to this year, let me help you end the year strong!
The Art of Reframing (Ecclesiastes 9:11)
Sometimes unexpected events happen to us all. Did we plan for 2 surgeries when we started out this year? Nope. Life happens. As Ecclesiastes 9:11 warns us;
…time and chance happen to all of them. (Christian Standard Bible)
However, there is good news. While we cannot change what happens to us, we can change our outlook on each event.
For example, you and your spouse may have made plans for the upcoming holiday season to spend some one on one time with each other.
Then you get the phone call from your stepchildren’s biological mom that she is unable to keep the children anymore. This can throw off your entire plan.
Should you get angry about the change? Yes, it is frustrating when things do not go the way we want them to go but how can we reframe our thoughts?
Why not challenge yourself to look for the positive in your new situation. How does the change add to your life instead of take away from it?
Maybe you have been trying to plan ways to spend more time with your stepchildren to connect with them. This creates the perfect opportunity to do so.
You can also use this opportunity to show the biological mom that you have no issues supporting her. That way, you are working together as a team.
You never know, she may reciprocate in the future if you need her to keep the kids if something comes up with you.
When you think through the change in plans, you can reframe a negative situation and create something positive from it.
As this year wraps up, now is the perfect time to reframe your attitude to begin 2020 with a head start.
What Is Reframing?
Have you ever noticed how putting a favorite photo, picture, or painting in a new frame can bring out certain colors in the piece? The right frame can give it a whole new look.
It can even change the overall energy or style of the room where it is displayed.
The same is true for your attitude in life!
You can’t always control what circumstances happen to you or what actions other people take that impact you. But you can control your attitude and adjust it so that you can turn every situation into a wonderful advantage.
Why Does Reframing Matter?
So stepmama, why does reframing matter?
Reframing allows you to take back your power. When you’re not focused on actively reframing situations through a positive attitude, you can become a victim in your own life story.
With reframing your outlook, mental attitude and reactions, you shift from being the victim, to the one in the driver’s seat in your life.
It’s true you that you don’t always get a choice in what happens to you, but you do get to choose which lens you view your life through.
If you want to, you can choose to view it from a positive standpoint and look for the good. This can open up new opportunities and show you possibilities that you may have only dreamed of before.
You can have the family you want, the relationship with your stepchildren that you’ve dreamed of having, a friendship with the bio mom, the marriage you are working so hard to create and more!
What Situations Do You Need to Reframe?
It’s time to take a hard look at your life, both personally and professionally. What is going on that you’ve been dragging a negative attitude into? Where have you been accepting an outlook of discouragement and defeat?
If you need help determining which situations you need to reframe, think about the ones that you keep bringing up to your friends, family or spouse.
Every time you get together for drinks with your girls or when you call your best friend, this is what you complain about. You analyze it repeatedly, pointing out how you were wronged. Maybe you were maligned. Maybe you did deserve better. Maybe they really were out to get you.
If you need further help recognizing the areas you are struggling to maintain a positive outlook in, write them down.
Find a journal or create one and pour out everything in your head and on your heart.
I recently created a free prayer journal for stepmoms that I truly believe you will find useful. You can check it out below!
This practice can be used whenever you are faced with unexpected challenges or when you are feeling defeated.
Do Not Let Situations in Life Define Who You Are
The deeper question here is: are you going to let these situations define you or are you going to find a way to reframe and rise above them?
The truth is, you can let yourself be a whiner or a warrior—it’s all in how you frame it!
I hope these tips help and if you need more resources on how journaling can help you reframe your attitude, check out my post, Why Stepmoms Need A Prayer Journal and How to Start One.